Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Around about the time Zeus turned into a swan and raped a girl, we figured out that mythology had some blacklight sex weird sexual hang-ups.
Indra was considered the king of the Hindu gods. Much like Zeus, he threw lightning bolts at people and disguised himself as women’s husbands so that he could have sex with them on the sly. Apparently it is very hard for the lords of all creation to get some legitimate action. You’d think those two extra hands would give him an edge. Indra lusted after Ahalya, the wife of the sage Gautama, so he floated down to Earth and disguised himself as Gautama while the sage was away, then proceeded to initiate the no-pants dance with Ahalya.
Too bad no exact illustration is available. A picture is worth a thousand vulvas. Indra was mortified and went into hiding, and the other gods went looking for him. When they finally found him, he was covered in blood. And it wasn’t because he was hurt. The gods, repulsed by Indra’s full-body menstruation, undid the curse by turning all of the vaginas into eyes, which gave Indra his official title as the Thousand-Eyed God.