Breast sex toys

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As anyone this side of the Hall of Justice will tell you, the first sign of megavillainy is declaring that everyone else in the world is wrong and you’re right. We’ve found seven people with the ego, the balls and the terrifying machinery to shout, “Everyone in the world was boning wrong before I came along! The second sign of megavillainy is applying for a patent to prove it. Hey guys, how many times has this happened to you? You’re having sex with a real woman, and you can’t see what’s going on inside her v-hole? It sure was to Ken E.

Wong, and he decided to do something about it. By inventing a transparent cock sock. Now at first, this just appears to be a Fleshlight, the tube-shaped masturbation aid some of you may own at this very moment. With my busy schedule of masturbating and crying while masturbating, I haven’t had time to meet Mrs. But the real crazy hits the fan when this player spent hundreds of words complaining about how every other vaginal replacement product hid his glorious penis from him during intercourse.

As if seeing his penis in action was the whole point of sex altogether. That’s why he built this: Unless he hooks up with one of the aliens from The Abyss or Sue Storm, he’s completely given up on finding his perfect woman. First, Sex Bong is a great name for a band, and we’re claiming it. Second, we wish that was all it was. Method of using a water pipe” is a pretty coy description from someone installing weed paraphernalia into a woman’s baby-maker. You know what’d go really well with this?

For anyone who’s ever actually been a woman, or had an orgasm, this idea is more terrible than using tectonic drift as an egg timer. Actually it’s twice as bad as that since the tempo is wrong twice. First, they’re called bong rips for a reason. The best way to take them has more in common with band aid removal than it does with the slow and steady tempo of good sex. Or at least no more than spandex costumes normally do. And by the way, in order to get that whole “sensing how stimulated you are” bit just right, he’s got rubber and metal rings on the jerking hand.

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