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Before reading further, please be aware of this! I am not a comedian, but I am a professional ex-salesman and teacher. I make my living teaching and selling to people. For a salesman that is important. Let me teach you how to tell a good story. Let me list for you the important general highlights of telling a good story. Normally a casual entrance into a joke or story is best.

The more casual approach lets the listeners draw themselves into the story. ARE trying to entertain, aren’t you? A handy rule of thumb is: “Could I tell this story to the PTA? Like anything worth doing, it is worth doing well. I embellished, and some I heard over the years. Long List that I started many years ago. Most of these stories are rated PG.

I mentioned above, always tailor them to your audience. A lady gets on a public bus. The woman holds her right arm out at the driver and chops at it a few times with her left hand. Then the driver puts his left hand on his right bicep and jerks his right arm up in a fist at her. The woman then cups both of her hands under her breasts and lifts gently.

So the driver places both of his hands at his crotch and gently lifts up. Then the woman frowns, runs a finger up between her derriere, and gets off the bus. There is another woman sitting in the front row of the bus who witnessed the whole exchange. She speaks up, “That was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on a public bus! Listen lady,” states the gruff bus driver, “the lady that got on the bus before was a deaf-mute.

She asked me if the bus went to 5th Street. I said no, we go to 10th Street. I told her that this was the express. I told her we go by the ballpark. She said “Shit, I’m on the wrong bus! Three Birds on a Wire A teacher was helping her third-grade students with a math problem. A little old lady went into the headquarters of the Bank of America one day, carrying a large bag of money.

At his first stop, there was this very overweight little girl. Hi, I’m the new bus driver. The girl said that her name was Pattie. Waiting at the next stop was another overweight little girl.

She said that her name was Pattie also. At the next stop, there was a grown woman and a little boy. The woman piped up and said, “His name is Ross and he is my son. He is very, very special, so I want you to take extra good care of him.

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